2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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