So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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