Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
