You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
