if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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