Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
No subtext here. People are naked.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
