i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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