I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
