I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just gargled with NyQuil
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
