HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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