I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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