If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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