my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
