I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize