NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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