I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
