Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize