so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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