How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
