It's like a parade of train wrecks.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Sorry about my life...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
