Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
