Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
