YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
