wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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