The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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