There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
