i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
