Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
