He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I would ride that face into the sunset
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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