you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
