He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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