Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
