I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
