how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
