i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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