Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
