We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
