Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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