pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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