I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
