porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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