North Korea, Best Korea!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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