The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize