i barfeds in our rink
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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