yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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