She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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