Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Alive.
So much puke
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
