I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
