Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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