What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
