Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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