I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
