the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
