Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
