no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
