I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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