I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
