forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
