So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
