We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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