Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
