I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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