every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
