just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize