I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
