dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Do you have feelings for this penis?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
