I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
